Love Jones

•girl, I will lick and suck every inch of your vaginal walls until your stomach caved in. Liposuction./

•I will write and rewrite and write again, this night across every inch of your skin, with my tongue. Penmanship/

•I will, place my lips against those lips which look as if they were traced by Rembrandt's felt tip, pen. Selflessness./

•run my finger tips up and down the canvas described as your body hardly missing,partially kissing until those tingles reach your heart. Determination./

•as the whispers of angels that make up that sound leaving your mouth take the form of moans. Great listener/

•longing to swim amongst you inner thoughts,lost amongst those inner thought as they grip and pulsate  as I,slowly, enter your thoughts./

•damn! You are a silhouette in flesh./art at its best and if I were to bet,everyone before me that you have met was not a fan of art./

•by far, who I are, is not important,but they call me a brother of the night./

And if you seen love jones baby, you know what follows right?.

Mr. Intentional

•She said that I'm unintentionally a bad person./

Like she believes I mean well,but my actions are hurtful./

•she said she's tired of being fucked over./

Like how could you show up like this as if,you take for granted this moment./

•she says I've inspired her./

Like my work ethic is the ethics which drives her./

•she said I'm a true friend./

Like the advice guru in which she goes to when possible seems to be anything but./

•she says I'm ungreatful./

Like how can you not give me a shot when I've stood by you at your worst./

•she says I'm selfish./

Like despite all my work and the presentation of my willingness to work all you see is you./

•she says she admires my passion./

Like how can a person with so little be so driven to do some much for someone they rarely even know./

•she said she loves how I kiss her./

Like I am her real life Christian grey in a situation mascarded by grey areas./

•So what now?/

What to make of this love able tragedy?/

• possibly, nothing at all. Signed yours truly, Mr.Intentional..

Rebel Without a Cause (James Dean)

•her final words were,"the person you are now,is who I needed back then."/

•now this can go either way depending in your perception of things./ see back then, I was In search of answers./

•looking within, that crumbled shell of person./ see honestly I lacked purpose./

•I felt alive for the soul purpose of nothing./ I existed simply as a biproduct of hurt and disappointment./

•the person I am today stands here in enjoyment like, damnit I made it./ swam amongst those tears as great whites dressed as fears nibbled at my heels./

•see my achilie's heel is my heart's ability to feel and I don't regret that./ just like I don't regret meeting you./

•see life has a cruel way of getting you to become a better you./ trials and tribulations are simply nothing more than tributes now a days./

•distant memories along the road in which they paved while in pursuit,/ of a happier place.a place the old you was never accustomed to./

•so I can choose that view as you simply saying my growth was all for not./ I can view it as you saying nice try,but your attempts were all for not./

•or I can view it as life saying thank you for taking a shot./ we applaud you./ 

•simply because,if I were me now,back then, then this new you would simply be the person you still aspired to be one day./

And these are my truths./

Tragically Amazing

No stories are told simply because my pen is shaped differently./see inadvertently my pain tends to travel awkwardly./

•I write as if my words are a crutch used to support pain./

I write as if these verbs shall be the only thing that remains./

•see when I'm dead and gone, the only thing this land will have to lean on are these words./

•everything from music to relationships./ everything from heartbreaks to heart ships. These words will remain as if, they were pieced together from the same wood as Noah's arch./

•see this letter is a tad bit different from the ones I'm accustomed to sending./ this one will not ask for forgiveness./ this one will not dwell on remembrance./ this one is adjacent to what strength is./

•you can not learn to love if you have never been in love./you can not remember how to find love if you have never lost it./

• see the pieces of life's puzzle may appear awkward to some./ it may some how become  hard for some,but trust me, it's all worth it./

•I will no longer apologize for the hurt that I have caused because odds are I've done that./

•I have embraced all that I are and therefor and thus far,by god I am totally fine with that./

•life is simply about building blocks and taking them down./ trial and error. You live and you learn etc etc./

•life is about acceptance and moving forward./ life is about taking risks and paying for them./

•life is about strength./so if you have the pleasure of meeting me./ the pain of being hurt by me and still manage to smile when discussing your trials while dealing with me,/

•I'm content because in part I'm the reason for your strength./there for you can never regret meeting me.

Hi, I'm heartbreak. Nice to meet you!

MASCARADE

•A  penny for your thoughts. A nickel for a kiss. A dime if you tell me that you love me./

•Here's a ring if you tell me that you love me. My last name and an appropriate change,if you tell me that you love me./

•But where's the guarantee in this?/ there's no instruction manual or a leap free of risk for those who happen to fall deep in it./

•fuck it, guess I'll aim for the bushes./ I'll aim hoping I'm on target despite it being far fetched I go for it./

•loving the feeling that I get from these feelings caught open handedly like a receiver wide open./

•hopeless, romantic hoping this opens this side of Pandora's box that we all long for./

•but if not, Oh lord,father forgive me for I am about to curse this motherfucker out four ways from Sunday for the time spent./

•see there's where the questions come like, what if she stops returning my calls?/ what if she happens to become interested in another and for that other is who she wishes to fall,/

•what if I stop making her feel that way that she felt when we think back to that day that we first met and seeks that at best in another?/

•Then she becomes that heartless motherfucker simply because it's a lot easier to point the finger./

•but I'm like, lookah here nigga./ what if she stopped returning those calls because she grew tired of being the one to call first?/ what if she decided to seek that attention you willingly gave another./

•what if those things you did to finally get her are the things you didn't do to

keep her because you grew comfortable./

•bruuuuuhhhhh?! Who's fucking side are you on here anyway?/ that's me in conversation with my mindstate./

FASHION TIP OF THE WEEKEND:

FASHION TIP OF THE WEEKEND: So after the huge amount of compliments I decided to post a tutorial.

  Recently I was asked to speak at a meeting of the motivational capacity and I received tons and tons of compliments in regards to the bow tie that I had worn. Those compliments were also accompanied by questions as to who tied or how do you tie your bow tie. Listening to those questions and embracing the compliments, I decided that the first ever weekend fashion tip would be the art of wearing a bow tie. Hope this is as helpful to you as it was to me. Enjoy,impress your lady friends and see you guys next week.

http://youtu.be/NGdO6F470wc

Ode to the thickness

•adjust the lighting so it sits just perfect against your skin./ tracing every inch of a canvas so soft./

•creating a silhouette almost to perfect to believe thinking, This bitch has to be photoshopped./

•each kiss more and more addictive.i call her cocaine lips./ each sway more seductive.i call her mrs.heroine hips./

•society calls her fat.to cushion the blow she refers to her as thick./ I simply see her as beauty. Brito's greatest piece./

• I mean, I love the fact that your jeans struggle to come on./ and between you and I, those stretch marks on the corner of each boob are truly a turn on./

•don't judge me. Most importantly,don't misjudge yourself./ hips,thighs,ass,class and elegance are jewels within themselves./

•so let me adjust my lighting so again,it sits right against your skin./ creating a silhouette almost to perfect to believe it's not a dream again./

•I mean, I love the fact that your jeans struggle to stay up because of your ass and hips./ naturally you are blessed with what society are willing to risk life and financial freedom to get./

•so strike a pose for me mama.wear your beauty well./ strike a pose for me gorgeous. Flaunt those hips. 

•strike a pose for me gorgeous.never let society depreciate your gift./ for you are gorgeously,seductively,beautifully THICK.

BARTENDER

•bartender, can you please pour me a shot of reality./

I ask casually because obviously this is right where I aught to be./

•amongst, tainted hopes.torn between haikus and soliloquies that rarely even make sense./

•now I confess that I'm spent mentally so my conscious  often reads back insufficient funds./I mean that genie in a bottle would sit right right now,but in terms of right now,my right palm simply holds an IOU coupon which is reserved for me to pay attention./

•so bartender, can you please pour me a shot of reality./no worries I'll chase it with hopes in hopes that an overdose is close enough to the dose needed upon hitting the door./

•see most folks live beyond means meaning that as hard as it seems they still seem to design a scheme stitched by the seems to failure./

•bartender, can you please pour me a shot if reality?/I can,open a tab to keep tabs on a past thought to be well past that flask harnessed to my future./

• truth is, pouring my pride in a cup garnished with an ice cube once used as a love vessel makes my troubles easier to swallow./

•so bartender, please pour me a double shot of reality./because this eve-Ning, I was approached by someone brandishing a dollar and a dream seeking change./

•so I gave it to him./ 33 dimes and 12 nickels,which is common,for sense that is./

Letter To Shania

Letter to Shania

•As cries and sorrows elegantly trace your remembrance./ Tears and thoughts of your tomorrows fill the cups held by hope./

•each candle marking the permanent imprint in which is forever tatted on our hearts./ you will forever live on that's simply the life span of great art./

•Forever thru a family held together right now by the seems./and when it seems that moving on is a tainted dream,shania, you give us hope that it's reality./

•sadden that it took a tragedy to bond a community in search of answers to find answers within themselves when typically we by daily./

•rightfully it was hard for me to see bears and balloons symbolic of your memory accent the spot that god saw fittingly for your last steps to be./

•We often question god's motives when his great plan hits closest to home./why her god? Why now god? For what reason was she called home./

•we shouldn't question or weep at paths chosen./the way he sees it,he allowed our angel's wings to open./

•he saw a greater purpose for this angel./a guardian asked to guard us and guide us through our toughest moments./

•moments such as these when contrary to popular belief,she has to make us see that she indeed is in a better place./

•this letter's for Shania. The pain of a hundred families that can feel the pain your family has felt./this letter's for you Shania. To assure you that we will push on and that strength need to move on since you have been called home, will forever come from the memory which is you.

Life love and music

•as thoughts fill my head I can't help but allow my emotions to fill this page./ lost in transition I sit,spent from the pressures of this day./

•I, often wonder am I good enough. Am I trying hard enough,or is my enough simply not enough./

•lost in translation as I try to figure out life love and music./ though the love of my life is music,now a days she just doesn't kiss me the same./

•those 808's just ain't hitting the same./16's aren't sitting right,but despite it all,it sits right on tempo./

•my heart is the metronome's echo which let's me know,that the timing is perfect./

•so rather than just let go, I keep a hold on her./ fights are fights.battles are won and lost,but that doesn't take away from one's passion to fight.

•So the beat drops. Still on tempo regardless of my life's off set drum pattern./ the verse starts and again,on tempo despite the flow being awkward./

•Life,LOve and MusIc./ the love of my life is music./ because music allows me to see that,no matter how fucked up life may seem, love is always right on time-tempo-metronome.

MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH

Speech:

  First off I would like to bid my brothers a good afternoon.

   My name is Sicksdot (you suckers aren't slick!) CHief Executive Officer and founder of FLYTE LYFE entertainment. Managing Partner of its parent company Abstract Music and Co-Founder and chairman of a community based organization called the BBLG or The Brown Bag Lunch Gang.

   I decided to introduce myself as such for two reasons, 1. Because I'm pretty much an open book and 2. Not to wave my accolades around,but more so to profess that I am a living testimony to the fact that there is hope.

     Now statistics say that most of us as young black males by the age of 25 or so will end up either dead or in jail. Well, I'm 33 standing here before right now which leads me to believe two things, 1. I have defied the odds and 2. There is hope.

      As a kid growing up 20minutes north of here in liberty City. I would always hear my grandmother say,"keep your faith." Now as a kid you can't begin to even PATHOM how significant those three words are. Fast forward 20 odd years or so later while watching my childhood friend receive a 60 year prison sentence at the age of 24. Fast forward only months after that and having to knock on another child hood friend's sister's door to tell them that her brother had died in my arms. Fast forward months after and having to watch my aunt lose her battle to cancer. Those same three words that I struggled to make sense of showed me two things, 1. Your will/faith will be tested and 2. If you keep your faith, there is hope.

     If it hasn't sunk in by now, my purpose here today is to remind you that, no matter what the odds may appear to be. No matter how much your will is tested, there is hope. No matter how hard life may appear to be, if you keep your faith, there is hope.

     Now as I scan left to right throughout this room. Where som would simply see a group of college students. Maybe it's just my view on life,but I see a lot more. I see two things. 1. I see a group of individuals taking the necessary steps needed to achieve a goal. 2. I see a group of people whom despite what their peers may have said about them, they kept their faith and thus, I see hope.

      Understand gentlemen, people are gonna talk down, talk about you regardless of what you are doing in life. If it's, school they want to know why you went to school. If it's sitting home they want to know why you sitting home etc. etc. the way I view life is simple. The goals that you have set for you in life are yours. The dreams you have the aspirations you have are all yours and they should not be dictated altered or simply killed by the opinion of some one who isn't you. Let them talk. In the case of the people in this room currently, we should worry when they are no longer talking because that means we have stopped working and they no longer have anything to talk about.

     One case in particular. I know this young man who has a story beyond belief. This young man was at rock bottom,but set a goal to climb out. He dared to create change and despite the nat Sayers currently in his path both past and present he continues to grind. I personally don't like to tell him how much he inspires me to be great simply because I like to keep him grounded and humbled. I think it's safe to say that his ego would probably fill this room to capacity. Non the less he's a prime example of keeping the faith and that beacon of light which let's me know there's hope. You guys will soon see because though you guys have the privilege to call him your president, for 33 long hard years I have had the honor and the blessing to call him my uncle and that young man is Walter Stanley the 3rd..

  All in all I won't stand up here and talk you guys ears off,but I want to leave you with this quote, "live as if you are going to die tomorrow,but dream as if you are going to live forever!" 

Dare to dream gentlemen. Dare to become that change. When you feel that it's getting to hard,go harder because someone is listening to your heart. Someone is listening to these dreams and aspirations that you say you have and that person is gonna test your will which InTurn will test your faith. The hard part isn't a set back of any type. It's simply that person who is listening, wants to see if you want it as bad as you say you do. So show him and I guarantee he'll show you the way.

   Thank you for time and remember to keep your faith.

     

DeJa Vu

•now this seems to feel all to familiar./ I've seen this place before. had this wine b4.had this same taste on my lips,look in my eyes and sounds in my ear before./

•did I not just pass this same traffic light? Feeling like this entire day feels all to familiar./

•the pain that peaks it's head over that window seal labeled do not enter seems all to familiar./

•this hurt that constricts my heart like vice grips as hope slips through interlocked fingers tagged, do not enter. Feels all to familiar./

•these tears that fall to the pages and take the shape of sentences as I struggle to hold them back,but I yearn to write feels all to fucking familiar./

•this story's ending,again,all to familiar based on similar occurrences that echo, do not enter,sounds to familiar.

•yet despite warnings I enter. Feeling like fate has drawn this outcome different based on another stencil./

•apparently not because yet again, I'm forced to escape this haunted house of pain,hurt,disappointment and false hopes. 

•apparently so,because I've again escaped armed with the same tools as before.took the same path I took before. Refused to be broken as I did before./

•I will not waver as I did before. This familiarity is nothing more than a test of me saying that I would handle it differently. A test of my strength that I continuously brag about gaining from my past./

•this familiarity is nothing more than a test of my will. A test of my growth. I now know why it seems familiar. I've been here before and like last time, I made it.so this time,my ability to make it through also seems to familiar. so this chess game called life that we continuously play ends in a draw. #noonereallyeverwins despite what you tell yourself..

HEROS NEED SAVING

•last night I laid in silence./

Amongst tears,whispers and echoes.

Last I laid amongst a sea of doubt as tears traced the silhouette of my pillows.

•sifting through a multitude of thoughts that created a painting to abstract to make sense./

•fingers skimming across every thought hoping to get a glimpse,but still nothing.

•you see my current mindset is a kolidascope  of hopes wishes and wants./

Selfish as it may be,it's vital for the person whom I am to become.

•that role model. That father figure who figures the figuratively I am their super hero.

•it's hard when literally,I need saving.

I mean what is one to do when the one person destined to save you needs saving./

•I hear a cry from a distance. A plea for help. A faint cry from the corner of my mind that's there,but is never to be heard.

•a cry never to develop into a thought or understanding. 

A cry that's silenced by a choice democratically agreed up as if this faint cry was on the ballot during an election./

•I mean though the cry is at arms reach,my superior hero abilities won't allow me to fly. It won't allow me to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

•they won't allow me to move at the speed of light or reverse time or to reach out with one arm as a signal to let that cry know that I hear you./

•again, I sit her in full super hero attire. Draped in a cape of tears,a mask of fears and a suit of doubt and do nothing.

•simply because I can't. I want to but I can't.i need to but I can't. I should but I won't. Simply because this hero needs saving himself and that cry was just a distant reminder.

FANTASY FACTORY

-FANTASY FACTORY-

•That moment when It sinks in and it all makes sense./ like, this illusion has finally ended.movie's finished and you recogniZe a couple names in the credits/

•like damn, the hamster wheel's stopped./the bleachers are all empty./

• the smoke has cleared up./no more fantasies for the evening./

•no more holding on to false hopes and fictional tales of a happily ever after./ reality has shown up. Dressed in all black with a ski mask./

•the heart sees him and just sits there.no more running or hiding or convincing himself that there's a chance./ no more listening to that mind because he wouldn't mind chasing his forever./

•the heart sits there almost in relief that the ending is near.in relief that that 10 ton weight that abstracting his breathing is lifted as he chants, no more fantasies this evening./

•the heart welcomes this relief brought on by reality's right hand man truth./like,the signs were there you just chose to ignore them./

•like,The signs were there when love insisted that you should share her,/

And her sister selfishness, for its unfair to make her choose between love and a love that really didn't exist./

•she's like if love loved love then love wouldn't have to force you to chose shit./it would happen automatically./

•so practically the hearts battling in a war that it just can't win./ I mean of course the course that's charted is effected by the change in the wind./ yet he fought for it./

•but by the time the war reached its peak/ the heart was reluctant to beat cuz love had abruptly parted an stood vast waving the flag of the opposition./

•see love gave up and sought refuge and the change it brought about with good reason./

BLAOW!! A single shot rang out as truth sat there./and the heart whispered,thank you, no more fantasies for this evening./